My Father's eyes.

Do you remember that song by Amy Grant. I remember growing up it was like my all time favorite song, because I thought it really meant...I had my daddy's eyes. And people would tell us that all the time. "Wow, watch out for this one Gary, she's got those big browns of yours." Not until recently did I ever understand the true meaning of that song. And right now it means a lot to me.
This weeks challenge is to tell about God's fatherly love towards each of us as an individual. My big thing this week is that God SEES me, God HEARS my thoughts, God KNOWS the deepest parts of my mind, heart, and soul and he still loves me UNCONDITIONALLY.
I'm a little bit of an oddball. I have strange thoughts fly through my head for no reason at all...and most of them don't even make sense. Some of them I think are funny, some not, but God knows them all and still accepts me as I am.
I didn't have to change my life at first, that comes with the territory. I didn't have to do something wonderful and great....although, who doesn't want to show off for their dads? I didn't have to do ANYTHING. He loved me before I knew him.

Favorite childhood summer memories

I can't just choose one summer to write about because I have so many fond memories of childhood summers. So I will briefly write each one that is my FAVE.
- Summers spent out at grandma and grandpas (They had a house on the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri). Spending time in the boats, water skiing, fishing, learning to clean the fish, watching movies mom and dad would NEVER let us watch, sitting in the son, playing with frogs, having minnows tickle my toes.
-Teaching swimming- as a volunteer through parks and rec. I loved it.
-Camping trip with girlscouts- and my first "boyfriend" who dumped me for another 6th grader cause I wouldn't kiss him (he was in 9th grade)
-Political picnics- Daddy was a politician and they sure knew how to throw a bash!!!! Free food and tons of kids to play with!!
-Tennis- tennis lessons and practicing on the garage was where I spent a TON of my time.
- Grandma's house- always full of yummy smells and lots of love to go around.
-church camp- was seriously one of the funnest things I"ve ever done. I'll never forget Rainbow Trails.
-College visits- from my brother. I missed him while he was out at ORU and was always so excited to see him!!
-mini plastic pools and lawn chairs- sitting in the sun in the chair until it was too hot to sit anymore and then jumping in ice cold water to cool off!
- family trips- I loved taking family trips. We got to see some of the coolest stuff growing up! I especially liked Washington DC, and Tennesee!!
Aunt Colie and Uncle Bobs- Uncle bob was old and had trouble getting around (also at the Lake of the Ozarks...moms aunt and uncle) but he built a train that took him from the boat dock to the house. One that took him from the top of the stairs to the bottom of the stairs (long before they were actually invented) and I LOVED riding those. And he was super fun and could make it go fast of slow.
I have so many memories of summer growing up. I can't remember them all of the top of my head but I LOVED summer time at my house, at friends and families houses, and out and about.

My favorite bible story.....and why. OCP blog challenge #10

My all time favorite bible story of all time is the story of David. Why? Because it's my story.
-growing up I was pretty simple, your average girl. With a heart for God.
-I sinned and fell short.........over and over.
-God still uses me to his glory.
Short and sweet. I've fallen short. I've sinned. I've done things that I am admittedly ashamed of. And yet, God can see me, hear me, speak to me, and use me for his glory.
Even though I am nothing but a speck of sand in the grand scheme of things, he still sought me out and used me for his good. God is so good.

My favorite praise and worship lyrics EVER!!!

For, down at your feet oh Lord is the most high place
In your presence Lord, I seek your face, I seek your face.
For there is no higher calling, no greater honor, than to bow and kneel before your throne.
I'm amazed at your glory, embraced by your mercy OH LORD, I LIVE TO WORSHIP YOU.

That's my all time fave. It reminds me of what I am made for...and when life gets hard it's such an honor to know that the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords welcomes ME at his throne. And not only welcomes me...he basks in it. Here is where I am safe, here is where my world and my thoughts disappear and become his own. I guess that I also have one more to share.

Jesus, Lover of my soul.
Jesus, I will never let you go.
You've taken me from the miry clay
Set my feet upon that rock and now I know.
I love you.
I need you.
THOUGH MY WORLD MAY FALL I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO!!
My savior, my closest friend.
I will worship you UNTIL THE VERY END.

That one is a little more personal. I know that when my world is shattered and my hope is gone that I can look to God and he will renew me. I will never run out of hope, I will never be left alone when I am standing in the light of the one and only Almighty God. Where I crumble he will build me tall. Where I lack, he will provide. When I am lonely, he is with me. When I am hurting, he is my comforter. He is all that I need and I will praise him for that until the day that I die......and long afterwards. (((HALLELUJIAH!!!)))

My favorite bible verses (for right now.).

My favorite bible verses change with the seasons of my life. I like to have ones that apply to me so that I can study them more in depth and figure out what they mean to me. My ALL time favorite CHAPTER is Proverbs 31.
But my new verses for now Are Matthew 14:25-31
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them , walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him they were terrified. "It's a ghost," They said and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "TAKE COURAGE! IT IS I. DON'T BE AFRAID."
"Lord, if it is you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"COME." He said
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind , he was afraid and beginning to sink, cride out, "Lord, Save me!!"
Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "YOU OF LITTLE FAITH." he said. "WHY DID YOU DOUBT ME?"

These verses are important to me for several reasons.
1) They show that the power of God can do anything, even what is believed to be impossible."
2)They show that when we doubt God is when we start thinking in our faith.
3)That if you test God you may get something unexpected, that you weren't looking for.

But really, can you imagine WALKING on water. I don't blame Peter for being afraid, it is human nature, and when he was afraid he stopped focusing on Jesus and taking his focus away from him started to make him sink. Jesus, who is kind and just saved him and then chided him. "HELLO!! I AM RIGHT HERE...DID YOU THINK I WOULD LET YOU DROWN? IS THAT THE KIND OF KING I AM?? DO YOU NOT SEE THAT YOU ARE WALKING ON WATER?

Makes me think of faith in general. Peter had the courage to go out on the water. I don't know that I would have. Uh...You want me to WHAT?! But there are so many things that God asks us to do as Christians that we look away from our shun from our lives and all the while he is sitting there thinking and pleading with us to just take that leap of faith. JUMP in the water, Stand with me, I will guide you, you will not fall if you focus on me.

And that for the time being is my favorite bible verse. We all need to be reminded sometimes to take that leap of faith.

Share one thing/event/ time in your life that God has taken to make and mold a part of who you are today

I'll just be honest here. I can't tell you how many times God has worked in my life and I took complete advantage of it and let it go like it was nothing. I can't tell you how many things that through the strength of God I have overcome and survived but just let it go and summed it all up to fate or luck.
I remember though that as a child, I was lonely. My brother was always in trouble and my dad was a politician. The least of my family's worries was me. I was a good kid, good grades, good attitude. I never learned the basics in life. How to take care of myself. How to make friends. How important these things were. So this may be a little long (sorry).
Now, before I go on I would like to say THAT I LOVE MY PARENTS AND MY BROTHER VERY MUCH. While they didn't teach me the basics they DID teach me the importance of being strong and having dignity. And that the two do coincide. This isn't a "I blame my family" blog by any means.
Now as a child I remember being lonely. I remember going to school and at recess not talking to the other kids but talking to God. I would sit there at recess and just talk to God, sing, and praise him.
I had a hard childhood. Not hard because my parents were mean or nasty but hard because I had to suffer so much. And God worked through all of my sufferings. And some of those I am not willing or possibly able to post about right now. No ones fault. Just the circumstances of life and the sick people we allowed into it.
I remember that I went to a church camp here in town and that the first real light of God was shone on me. I DESPERATELY wanted a daddy. Not that I didn't have one but I wanted one who could and would be involved. I remeber going up to the alter to be prayed for. And the guy would say something that pertained to each person that was supposed to be personal and then would pray for him. He said to me "Christ is your daddy. He is there when no one else is and he hurts when you hurt." I was blown away.
Of course this led to more questions and doubts. If he is with me....then why is this happeneing??? If he loves me then why did he allow me to go through this???? If he hurts when I hurt then why isn't he comforting me????
Then one day I found the answer to all my questions in a prayre for help. I prayed PLEASE GOD...IF YOU ARE REAL DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS SITUATION...and the results were fast and amazing and life saving. I remember that moment feeling that God WAS real and that he would help me to persevere through ANYTHING.
Then came another time. When I didn't have the decency to pray for myself. I was in the middle of a rebellion and my mother woke up in the middle of the night and prayed. Her prayers and God saved me and my son that night as well.
Then it came time when we were having problems with Jimmy. DH was very upset about the circumstances and I came very clost to not marrying him at all. God worked me through that situation as well. It all started with a seed that he had planted that I allowed to grow and then wither, grow and then wither. It is because of God that I am who I am. It is because of God that I hold no grudges and show grace to those who have hurt me. It is because of God that my marriage is not stable and my family is whole. It is because of God that I am a perseverer.
BUT the all time changing thing in my life that made me who I am today....was me. God gave us a choice. This is my gift, accept it whole heartedly, or leave it alone. I had never FULL HEARTEDLY accepted his gift. I had taken what I wanted and left the rest alone. I think that sometimes I am still guilty of this (((sigh))). I never wanted anyone else to have any say or right to my life so I always drove him out when I felt he got to close. At this point I wasn't ready to trust in him. That changed and so did my attitude. The world got to overbearing. There was too much hate and deceitfulness everywhere and I decided I couldn't do it all on my own.
I was playing legos with the kids one day. And I accidentally knocked down their castle that they had been building. I tried over and over to make it how they wanted but couldn't seem to get it right. I forgot this or they wanted that. They wanted it as beautiful and perfect as they had origionally made it.
God spoke to me that day. He told me that this is me. That I was a wonderful and beautiful creation. That God had laid out a plan for my life and I kept tearing it down and making my own. That he wanted for my life to be what he origonally made it but couldn't do it without my permission and help. This was the single most inspiring thing that changed my life.
Not the fact the he saved me from death, not the fact that he offered to be my friend and father. Just the fact that he wanted to work in my and I wouldn't let him. I just needed that simple thing pointed out to me in a way that I could understand. And now I know. God is so good. Good not because he saved me from death or that he offered to be my friend and father but good to me because he loved me no matter how far gone I was, no matter which of his plans I tore apart. He said that I am a new creation. Come to me AS YOU ARE and I will make new plans. Nothing is beyond hope, nothing is beyond control, NOTHING IS BEYOND GOD.

Who am I????

This is a blog challenge from OCP (check my fave sites links) and I am ready to embrace it.
Let's dig into the question. Who am I? I suppose that it COULD depend on who you asked although the people that know me today can say that I am a far cry from the person that I used to be (Praise the Lord!!!!!).
Today I am a butterfly that has been freed from the confines of a jar. My captor was my fears and my doubts and the Lord released me from those as he carefully unscrewed the lid to set me free. I am a proud person. I am proud of what I have been through and I am proud of how I rose above my circumstances and happenings to become the person that I am today.
I am a work in progress. A never ending masterpiece in the making. I STRIVE to be the best wife, mother, and Christian that I can. Although, it is all a learning experience.
I'm a new person, I am not that person that I was all those years ago. That person has been completely erased from the books as the Lord started on the new and improved me.
I strive to do right by those around me. I hate to see people suffering or sad. I'm an EXTREMELY patient person (Just ask my husband...lol).
As for where I am in my Christianity today....I am TRYING so hard to do right. I know that I make mistakes but I also know that there is a kind and loving God who will take them and remove them from the slate. As far as he is concerned "I am as pure as the driven snow". Which is something that I never allowed myself to believe before.
WHO AM I???? I am a new creation in Christ.

I am a mom who is proud to be a servant to her children instead of a hen pecking nag. I love to watch them grow and am so blessed to be able to help them and show them how to live. It isn't a MUST do anymore it is a WANT to do.
I am a wife to a man who I ADORE. God put us together and said....this is good. He is the only person who was able to see past my coy games, my walls, and my lies. He saw the real me the instant that he met me and holds me to being that person. I am eternally grateful to my husband for that. I am deeply in love with him!!!!
I am a friend who will NOT let you suffer alone. I will take your burdens and I will lift them when you can't carry them. I will talk to you about ANYTHING you want to talk about and only offer advice when asked.

WHERE AM I GOING???
I am starting a new journey. I'm freed from my confines and ready to see what this world is REALLY all about. Through different eyes. I plan on telling the world about what I have seen from my jar and who released me from it.

I guess that's about all. I'm complex and simple. I am loved and I am hated. I am strong and I am weak. I am a mother and a daughter. I am a wife and a friend. I am full of hope and overfilled with blessings and loved. I am ME.