My Father's eyes.

Do you remember that song by Amy Grant. I remember growing up it was like my all time favorite song, because I thought it really meant...I had my daddy's eyes. And people would tell us that all the time. "Wow, watch out for this one Gary, she's got those big browns of yours." Not until recently did I ever understand the true meaning of that song. And right now it means a lot to me.
This weeks challenge is to tell about God's fatherly love towards each of us as an individual. My big thing this week is that God SEES me, God HEARS my thoughts, God KNOWS the deepest parts of my mind, heart, and soul and he still loves me UNCONDITIONALLY.
I'm a little bit of an oddball. I have strange thoughts fly through my head for no reason at all...and most of them don't even make sense. Some of them I think are funny, some not, but God knows them all and still accepts me as I am.
I didn't have to change my life at first, that comes with the territory. I didn't have to do something wonderful and great....although, who doesn't want to show off for their dads? I didn't have to do ANYTHING. He loved me before I knew him.

Favorite childhood summer memories

I can't just choose one summer to write about because I have so many fond memories of childhood summers. So I will briefly write each one that is my FAVE.
- Summers spent out at grandma and grandpas (They had a house on the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri). Spending time in the boats, water skiing, fishing, learning to clean the fish, watching movies mom and dad would NEVER let us watch, sitting in the son, playing with frogs, having minnows tickle my toes.
-Teaching swimming- as a volunteer through parks and rec. I loved it.
-Camping trip with girlscouts- and my first "boyfriend" who dumped me for another 6th grader cause I wouldn't kiss him (he was in 9th grade)
-Political picnics- Daddy was a politician and they sure knew how to throw a bash!!!! Free food and tons of kids to play with!!
-Tennis- tennis lessons and practicing on the garage was where I spent a TON of my time.
- Grandma's house- always full of yummy smells and lots of love to go around.
-church camp- was seriously one of the funnest things I"ve ever done. I'll never forget Rainbow Trails.
-College visits- from my brother. I missed him while he was out at ORU and was always so excited to see him!!
-mini plastic pools and lawn chairs- sitting in the sun in the chair until it was too hot to sit anymore and then jumping in ice cold water to cool off!
- family trips- I loved taking family trips. We got to see some of the coolest stuff growing up! I especially liked Washington DC, and Tennesee!!
Aunt Colie and Uncle Bobs- Uncle bob was old and had trouble getting around (also at the Lake of the Ozarks...moms aunt and uncle) but he built a train that took him from the boat dock to the house. One that took him from the top of the stairs to the bottom of the stairs (long before they were actually invented) and I LOVED riding those. And he was super fun and could make it go fast of slow.
I have so many memories of summer growing up. I can't remember them all of the top of my head but I LOVED summer time at my house, at friends and families houses, and out and about.

Lord, I know you love me because.....OCP blog challenge 13

Lord, I know you love me because......

• You saved me from the cluthes of evil and death.
• You can tell me no, to my wants, and yes to my needs.
• You rescued me from myself.

I guess that the easiest way to SHOW God's love for me is to post a few of the things that led me to the Lord....some ARE personal and I have not shared them with ANYONE but this is what you get so far. It will be long...there are three parts. Starting from the time I was 16. So enjoy and you will see how I know that the Lord loves me.

PART ONE: YOU RESCUED ME FROM THE CLUTHES OF EVIL AND DEATH

Okay, I am very proud of my testimonies. Yup. I said testimonies. I have backslid so many times! And yet God's ercies and grace are new everytime and he accepts me still. So here is one of my ordeals that brought me to Christ. I hope it isn't too soon to share. I've been sharing forever and it is second nature to me now.My first son Jimmy. Is with a different man than my hubby. I had him right after I turned 17. Me and his dad were to be married. He postponed the wedding for the SECOND time after I turned 18 and I had had enough. I prayed that day. I said God if you are real and if you are there then show me what to do. I can not do this on my own. If this is not the man I am supposed to be with then please please take away any feelings that I have for him. And I have to tell you INSTANTLY I knew this was not the man for me. So I worked up the courage and I broke it off. At this point he really flipped his lid! I was very co-dependent on him so when I cut it off he diddn't know what to do. It started with calls, then escalated into following me places with his wrists slit or suicide threats begging to have me back. Then he took pills and ended up in the hospiatal for a week. A little over a month after I broke up with him and right before our sons first birthday he just SNAPPED! He went crazy. I woke up in the morning with a rifle in my face. I endured hours of abuse and torment. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know if I was thinking anything. I know that I was talking but I don't know what I was saying. In the long run. I came out with minor scrapes and bruises (mostly from being handcuffed to a bed), and he ended up shooting himself (in the armpit....How do you shoot yourself with a rifle).Well this is where my story gets good. I talked him into thinking that I was going to get back together with him and told him that I was going to be late for work (which I already was and working for my dad at the time he was worried). I loaded my son in the car and teary eyed I started to drive. I had planned on going straight to the police department. But behind me there was a white station wagon following me. I wasn't wearing my glasses and the tears in my eyes prevented me from seeing who was driving. I was SO scared though. Cause when I pulled over...they did too. Man, I was SO scared. So at that point I decided to go straight to the office. I walked into my dads office and started crying. (I was a very emotionally hard person...I had already been through a lot in my life.) My dad took one look at me and dialed 911. Man, I get emotional whenever I tell this story! The police arrived and they were able to arrest him. Now when I got home later that day I got a call from my very good freind -------. He had always been a good friend AND a good christian. He asked me if everything was okay. I wasn't ready to talk and I just said yeah. He seemed so relieved. And I said Why what's going on. He said I had a dream last night. I had a dream that you were driving and that you were crying and scared. And then he said You looked into your rear view mirror and I saw a white station wagon behind you. You seemed to be afraid of it and God told me to call you and tell you not to be afraid becasue there is an angel in that station wagon keeping you from harm. I broke down. I thanked God right then and there for the blessings in my life. I later found out that he had come TO KILL ALL OF US. He had a whole fanny pack jammed with ammo. And I came out with scrapes and bruises.Now believe it or not this is not where this story ends. You see, my dad is an attorney. And when it came down to be time for me to testify he told me NO. He said please don't. He said that the justice system is horrible and that he is mentally ill. He said he will sit in prison for MAYBE 8 years and plot his revenge...cause there is nothing else that can be done. I of course followed my dads advice. And didn't testify. We had plans to get me out of state when he was released from jail. I LOVED my judge. She told him that even though I would not testify that the evidence mounted against him was SIGNIFIGANT and there was no doubt in her mind that he would try again. She ordered him to house arrest and lots of classes (which they are not supposed to be able to do.) Well, he was here on a green card. And just hours before he was supposed to be released we all said a prayer putting a hedge of protection around my son and I. And the most amazing thing happened. The judge after leaving the court room had called the INS. She told them about him and all the evidence against him. So right before he was going to be a free man they put a hold on him. The phone rang and my mom started crying. Saying Praise Jesus. She then said. Sarah he can't touch you again. The INS has put a hold on him and he is going back to Honduras. He is not allowed to enter the US again. I was so relieved. I was saved again by the grace of God. When I said that first prayer he was telling me NOOOOOOOO! Something is going to happen to you and if I would have never said it I am convinced that I would be in a casket right now. God saved me from my circumstances and then he saw what was going to happen and saved me from that as well.

MORE RESCUING ON THE BEHALF OF MY SAVIOR.

You would think that after everything in my first post that I would just turn my life over to the Lord....but I am a hard sale. I somehow rationalized everything that had happened. And I went downhill and fast. I had completely quit raising my son. I had lost pretty much all hope on the world and on love. I started doing things that were completely out of my character...just to spite...I don't know who??!! I was a lost soul. I was a lost cause as far as everyone who knew me more. I kept spiraling and spiraling out of control...further and further into some unknown abyss of anger. The next part of my testimony is not the last either I am an all or nothing kind of girl and at the time I couldn't see my all and gave it my nothing. I had a party at my house. My parents went out for the night and left me to care for my son. Who was I think right around two at the time. Party ended and a couple of friends and I thought we would go cruise around and pick up boys. Yes, With my two year old They ran into some guys that they knew. Their parents had a restraunt and left them with the key. We went and had a couple of drinks. And then me being a little tipsy I gave my keys over to a complete stranger to myself.....STUPID!! I moved Jimmy's car seat. I always liked to be able to see him. We drove for awhile and found ourselves on one of the passes (a long windy road with nothing but drop off at the side). I had called my parents and mom kept begging me to turn around and I had really started to think about it because the roads were icy. But because the roads were icy I didn't find a good spot to have him turn around inWe made it almost to the top of the pass close to a town called Victor and he just stopped. He said the car wouldn't go anymore. I got in and realized that the doofus was driving with the e-brake the whole time. By this time I am sober and ready to get out of here. My friends in front of me turned off their headlights messing around. He said We should try that. I told him no but he reached over and turned my head lights off. UGH! Was I mad!! I looked down for two seconds to turn them back on and missed a curve in the road. I remember falling, I remember hitting my head and then nothing. The impact knocked me out.I remember waking up feeling very disoriented and foggy. I kept calling for my son but I didn't get any answer. Oh...the thoughts and shame running through my head because I thought that he was dead along with my passenger. Finally, my passenger came and got me out....he had my son and my son was safe and unharmed. Thank the Lord...I shutter to think of what would have happened to me had something happened to my son. I had to climb out the window cause the doors were smashed in and the car was upside down. Seriously, I had parts of the car just dangling in air...the parts that weren't all up the ravine I had managed to roll down The ONLY part of my car that wasn't completely trashed was right above my sons head. He had slept through the entire incident. We started the long tedious hike up the ravine. It was so steep that I had to push my son up by his butt while my passenger held on to his back to make sure he didn't fall. We found our friends and they drove us to the nearest house to call for help. I was in complete shock. I didn't have any contol over myself and I couldn't quit shaking...It was one of the scariest things I can imagine!They called 911 and I called my parents. My mom was awake. I told her the situation and while she was mad at me she said praise Jesus. She said I woke up about an hour ago and just hit the floor in prayer for you guys.Later when the police and the ambulance came I didn't get your normal lecture. I got a whole bunch of wows. I had rolled my car into what they call death ravine. The place where all thier casualties are. I had a neon. A freaking sardine can for a car and they told me that they had never seen someone roll thier car as badly as I did and come out alive. And not just alive but I WALKED away from the scene cause God put us on my moms heart and my mom interceded. I honestly don't know how many times God has saved my life. But I can tell you looking back right now that I am forever grateful that he has done such wonderful things for me...even when I shunned him or was angry at him...he wanted to show me that I was special.

ME....today.

So as you have all read, I have by no means had an easy life. But on the same token I beleive that God has a provincial calling on my life that he will let NO MAN take away from him .My final testimony The time when God let me know that it was time to give it all to him because I was a sad, heartbroken, shell of a person without him!!!It came about when I was playing with my boys. They made lego castles and all that good stuff. I walked in the room and accidentally knocked some down. I made them so upset I tried to build it back how I saw it but nothing I did was good enough. This didn't go here....nothing was right. I felt God pull on me and tell me this is me. This is how I am with God. I take what he so wonderfully mapped out and planned and turned it into what I wanted to see instead of what he needed it to be. Hadn't I suffered enough?? Is this how I wanted to continue living??? With false joy, false hope, false idols and bad habits?????The tug started and I decilded to test it. God, I've been living with my "husband" pretty much since we met I've always wanted to be married. What can you do with this????? On November 16th of last year my prayers were answered and I became the bride that I always wanted to be.That had always been one of my main excuses to not do what I was supposed to be doing I WANT to get involved in a church but I can't becuase I'm not married. I WANT to pray but I can't because I am too ashamed. He took it out of the equation and said What's your excuse now???I haven't got one. The God of the Universe gave me the one thing that I wanted to eliminate the need for excuses the need to live seperate lives, the need to be free from all confines and things that shackeled me.Because while I plan on posting the other things in the salvation testimonies that I have previously wrote about....they don't hold me captive anymore. They are not in my thoughts, they are not things that are of me anymore. They are a set of events that shaped me and led me.....not an excuse. I'm free. These things don't have a hold on me any longer. And that is the most amazing part of my life, the most amazing thing anyone could have ever done for me. And he did.

These are just EXAMPLES of how I know that God loves ME. He is a kind and just God and full of grace. I'm so blessed by his grace and presence in my life!!! He loves me for ME!!

Who I look up to and why.....OCP blog challenge 11

I would like to say, before I begin, that being the daughter of a politician has made it so that I can meet MANY people worthy or priase...and many people who are NOT. I in no way, want to underestimate the wonderful people that I have met in my life or the influence they have had on me. That being said, there are several people that I would like to write about and they are all from my family.
So I would like to start with my grandma, Margorie Shupp. My grandma made a mistake in the 40's and had sex out of wedlock. The result was my dad. Grandma had pressures all over the place to have an abortion or give dad up for adoption but she always stood FIRM in her beliefs, that this was a GOD GIVEN child, and even if the dad ran off (which he did) she was going to raise that baby no matter what anyone said. My grandma is a hero to me because of that. I can't imagine what it would be like being pregnant out of wed lock in the 40's but I KNOW that it wasn't easy. I look up to my grandma for being so strong, in such a different time. I admire my grandma who stood FIRM in her beliefs, even after she had messed up. I admire my grandma for having my daddy, because without him....I wouldn't be here either. My grandma was an amazing woman. She was unable to drive because she had been in a car accident that gave her grand mal seizures. And yet she still found the time to garden, volunteer at Goodwill, work, take care of her kitty Snowflake and be a wonderful grandma.
Next on my list is my GRANDPA, Loren Shupp, My grandpa who also in the 40's stood up to the plate for my grandma. And took in a child that wasn't actually his. They decided in the beginning that they would not tell my dad about his bio dad (he found out anyway). But grandpa was INCREDIBLE!! He was fun, kind, compassionate...all the good qualities someone would want in a man. He was also dead set on doing God's will above his own. Some of my favorite memories growing up as a small child were with my grandpa. He had a personality that just sucked you in and brought you to grandpa land. ANd grandpa land was always filled with love, comfort and lots of fun. I TOTALLY admire my grandpa for being a man of strong faith and for being the man that he "didn't have to be" to my dad.
And without my grandma and my grandpa, my dad could have been a different man. I will tell you that my dad is the man on this planet that I admire the most. My dad is soft spoken and intelligent. He is kind and considerate. He is giving and real. He has strong moral convictions and he sticks to them (and in case you haven't noticed that isn't easy in politics.). He has a sense of what is right and what is just that is just amazing.
I can count on my hands, the times that my dad yelled at me growing up, all 29 years I can count on 10 fingers the times he yelled. Most of the time he was calm and rational and AMAZING!!
I could go on ALL day about what a wonderful man my dad is, but i think I would like to drive it home with just a few examples. My dad is a live by example kind of guy.
So a few years ago, I was doing some research from when my dad was in office here (County Commishioner for 8 years) and came accross the numbers. I was looking at what all the other county commishioners spent during their time in office and looking for my dad. I found him at the bottom of the list with $0.00 ALL 8 years that he was in office. He never ONCE took money from the city, NOT ONCE....everything he did, everything he atteneded, everything he brought us to...was out of his own pocket.
There is one more example that I would like to drive home. Those of you who know that story about Jimmy's dad might know this story. But basically, I had taken some "pictures" with Jimmy's dad. They ended up in police evidence and when it was time to pull the stuff out I was shocked to see them. Shocked and embarassed. I remember my mom yelling at me about how I would do something so stupid. I remember ALREADY being hurt and lost in a world of sadness and disbelief. I had decided befoer I got home that day that I was going to burn the pictures. I took one look at my dad and knew that he was not pleased with me AT ALL. I waited awhile and then told them what I was going to do and headed to the backyard to burn them. I went outside and started balling my eyes out as I started to burn the pictures. HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID!!!! WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!??? I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear my dad come out. He took the pictures from my hand, turned them upside down, and started burning them one at a time. And while he was burning them he would say things like "Everyone makes mistakes." "Don't be too hard on yourself now, you've been through enough." "You are a beautiful person." And then we just sat there and let them burn in silence. He pulled me out of my grief and he let me sit on his shoulders that day. And I KNOW it was so hard for him to do.
My dad is an amazing man and that's why I admire him the most!!!

My favorite bible story.....and why. OCP blog challenge #10

My all time favorite bible story of all time is the story of David. Why? Because it's my story.
-growing up I was pretty simple, your average girl. With a heart for God.
-I sinned and fell short.........over and over.
-God still uses me to his glory.
Short and sweet. I've fallen short. I've sinned. I've done things that I am admittedly ashamed of. And yet, God can see me, hear me, speak to me, and use me for his glory.
Even though I am nothing but a speck of sand in the grand scheme of things, he still sought me out and used me for his good. God is so good.

My favorite praise and worship lyrics EVER!!!

For, down at your feet oh Lord is the most high place
In your presence Lord, I seek your face, I seek your face.
For there is no higher calling, no greater honor, than to bow and kneel before your throne.
I'm amazed at your glory, embraced by your mercy OH LORD, I LIVE TO WORSHIP YOU.

That's my all time fave. It reminds me of what I am made for...and when life gets hard it's such an honor to know that the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords welcomes ME at his throne. And not only welcomes me...he basks in it. Here is where I am safe, here is where my world and my thoughts disappear and become his own. I guess that I also have one more to share.

Jesus, Lover of my soul.
Jesus, I will never let you go.
You've taken me from the miry clay
Set my feet upon that rock and now I know.
I love you.
I need you.
THOUGH MY WORLD MAY FALL I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO!!
My savior, my closest friend.
I will worship you UNTIL THE VERY END.

That one is a little more personal. I know that when my world is shattered and my hope is gone that I can look to God and he will renew me. I will never run out of hope, I will never be left alone when I am standing in the light of the one and only Almighty God. Where I crumble he will build me tall. Where I lack, he will provide. When I am lonely, he is with me. When I am hurting, he is my comforter. He is all that I need and I will praise him for that until the day that I die......and long afterwards. (((HALLELUJIAH!!!)))

My favorite bible verses (for right now.).

My favorite bible verses change with the seasons of my life. I like to have ones that apply to me so that I can study them more in depth and figure out what they mean to me. My ALL time favorite CHAPTER is Proverbs 31.
But my new verses for now Are Matthew 14:25-31
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them , walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him they were terrified. "It's a ghost," They said and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "TAKE COURAGE! IT IS I. DON'T BE AFRAID."
"Lord, if it is you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"COME." He said
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind , he was afraid and beginning to sink, cride out, "Lord, Save me!!"
Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "YOU OF LITTLE FAITH." he said. "WHY DID YOU DOUBT ME?"

These verses are important to me for several reasons.
1) They show that the power of God can do anything, even what is believed to be impossible."
2)They show that when we doubt God is when we start thinking in our faith.
3)That if you test God you may get something unexpected, that you weren't looking for.

But really, can you imagine WALKING on water. I don't blame Peter for being afraid, it is human nature, and when he was afraid he stopped focusing on Jesus and taking his focus away from him started to make him sink. Jesus, who is kind and just saved him and then chided him. "HELLO!! I AM RIGHT HERE...DID YOU THINK I WOULD LET YOU DROWN? IS THAT THE KIND OF KING I AM?? DO YOU NOT SEE THAT YOU ARE WALKING ON WATER?

Makes me think of faith in general. Peter had the courage to go out on the water. I don't know that I would have. Uh...You want me to WHAT?! But there are so many things that God asks us to do as Christians that we look away from our shun from our lives and all the while he is sitting there thinking and pleading with us to just take that leap of faith. JUMP in the water, Stand with me, I will guide you, you will not fall if you focus on me.

And that for the time being is my favorite bible verse. We all need to be reminded sometimes to take that leap of faith.