The identity crisis.

For most of us, we sometimes feel that somewhere between the altar and our ever after that we have lost our Identity. We Have to make choices that involve more than just ourselves. We have to grow up.
And honestly, being a grown up, isn't always all it's cracked up to be. Life in the adult world is crazy. And to add to it, you lost yourself to the wants and needs of others. Careless days, a thing of the past.
Here are a few must haves to keep us sane.
1. Bubble baths. Not only are they awesome, but they help to release tension as well. At least one every two weeks.
2. A hobby. Something that you love to do. Something just for you.
3. Date night! You don't need a sitter to have date night. Feed the kids early and make a candle light dinner to share with your husband.
4. Joy and hope. When you are exhausted with life grab hold to joy and hope. Remember HIS joy comes in the morning.
These are just some quick home remedies for us to connect and get back to ourselves.

I know as a whole our "me time" us about 15 minutes a day.

Also, I am not a big advocate for "me time". We rarely get out and when we do it's usually together. I'm happy with that. I have dreams and ideas I hold on to for when my kids are grown. Then, I can have my me time. Until then I will rely on bubble baths and chocolate.

Doh!!

5. CHOCOLATE! How could I forget chocolate, oooh and
6.....the occasional retail therapy visit.
And........
Fill in the blank.

-- Post From My iPhone

Our story

A little story to tell us a little
more about how we became us.
So, to make a long story short I was a teen age mom. That relationship didn't pan out so well and my oldest sons (oldest son is 14) father is not allowed to have contact with us. PERIOD!
I was 21 when I met my husband. We met in a local night club. I was sitting there with some guy, who was boring the life right out of me. My brave DH sauntered over the table and asked if I would like to dance.
Desperate to get away from Mr. Boring, bur not wanting to seem TOO rude I said that he would have to buy me a rose to dance. It was only fair, boring guy had bought several. My husband started to walk away, stopped suddenly, and turned back around. He came back to the table, picked up one of Mr. Borings flowers and handed it to me. "I got you a rose, can we dance". I felt so bad for Mr Boring. I was trying not to laugh as we walked to the dance floor. Poor Mr Boring. Sitting there jaw dropped and rejected, never had a chance after that bold/ rude move.
At this time, I was seeing someone. We were FAIRLY serious. But he was getting ready to ship out of country with the military. I decided that this wasn't the one worth waiting for and got out of that relationship.
2 weeks after I met hubby, who will henceforth be known as Mr. Country, I called him for the first time. We met at his apartment and went back to the club we had met at.
Something strange happened to both of us that first date, we just KNEW, we knew that we were meant for each other and have pretty much been inseperable since date 1.
In the year 2000 our family grew by one. Another boy (age 9 now) Less than a year later we got his two kids from his previous marraige. A girl (now 12) and a boy (now 10).
And finally in 2002 we had our last baby, another boy (now 7). We have been pregnant twice since then but lost both.
With my oldest sons father not allowed to be in the picture and his Children's mother completely abandoning them, we set out to make OUR family.
We have been homeschooling for 5 years, after testing the waters of public school.
We are a very tight, close knit family. You would never know there was a mine, his, and ours beginning, unless you knew us well.
We had a rocky start in all of our new adventures and circumstances but have been able to stand firm in our commitment to eachother and wade the tides and the times of craziness out together. Coming out better and stronger than before.
It blows my mind that our simple, crazy start has turned into something so beautiful and deep.
I'm grateful to God everyday for making us for each other. For giving us all a plan and guiding us through.
I guess that's the story of when life started for us. A surprising set of events. Molded to turn into a masterpiece.


-- Post From My iPhone

My Father's eyes.

Do you remember that song by Amy Grant. I remember growing up it was like my all time favorite song, because I thought it really meant...I had my daddy's eyes. And people would tell us that all the time. "Wow, watch out for this one Gary, she's got those big browns of yours." Not until recently did I ever understand the true meaning of that song. And right now it means a lot to me.
This weeks challenge is to tell about God's fatherly love towards each of us as an individual. My big thing this week is that God SEES me, God HEARS my thoughts, God KNOWS the deepest parts of my mind, heart, and soul and he still loves me UNCONDITIONALLY.
I'm a little bit of an oddball. I have strange thoughts fly through my head for no reason at all...and most of them don't even make sense. Some of them I think are funny, some not, but God knows them all and still accepts me as I am.
I didn't have to change my life at first, that comes with the territory. I didn't have to do something wonderful and great....although, who doesn't want to show off for their dads? I didn't have to do ANYTHING. He loved me before I knew him.

Favorite childhood summer memories

I can't just choose one summer to write about because I have so many fond memories of childhood summers. So I will briefly write each one that is my FAVE.
- Summers spent out at grandma and grandpas (They had a house on the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri). Spending time in the boats, water skiing, fishing, learning to clean the fish, watching movies mom and dad would NEVER let us watch, sitting in the son, playing with frogs, having minnows tickle my toes.
-Teaching swimming- as a volunteer through parks and rec. I loved it.
-Camping trip with girlscouts- and my first "boyfriend" who dumped me for another 6th grader cause I wouldn't kiss him (he was in 9th grade)
-Political picnics- Daddy was a politician and they sure knew how to throw a bash!!!! Free food and tons of kids to play with!!
-Tennis- tennis lessons and practicing on the garage was where I spent a TON of my time.
- Grandma's house- always full of yummy smells and lots of love to go around.
-church camp- was seriously one of the funnest things I"ve ever done. I'll never forget Rainbow Trails.
-College visits- from my brother. I missed him while he was out at ORU and was always so excited to see him!!
-mini plastic pools and lawn chairs- sitting in the sun in the chair until it was too hot to sit anymore and then jumping in ice cold water to cool off!
- family trips- I loved taking family trips. We got to see some of the coolest stuff growing up! I especially liked Washington DC, and Tennesee!!
Aunt Colie and Uncle Bobs- Uncle bob was old and had trouble getting around (also at the Lake of the Ozarks...moms aunt and uncle) but he built a train that took him from the boat dock to the house. One that took him from the top of the stairs to the bottom of the stairs (long before they were actually invented) and I LOVED riding those. And he was super fun and could make it go fast of slow.
I have so many memories of summer growing up. I can't remember them all of the top of my head but I LOVED summer time at my house, at friends and families houses, and out and about.

My favorite bible story.....and why. OCP blog challenge #10

My all time favorite bible story of all time is the story of David. Why? Because it's my story.
-growing up I was pretty simple, your average girl. With a heart for God.
-I sinned and fell short.........over and over.
-God still uses me to his glory.
Short and sweet. I've fallen short. I've sinned. I've done things that I am admittedly ashamed of. And yet, God can see me, hear me, speak to me, and use me for his glory.
Even though I am nothing but a speck of sand in the grand scheme of things, he still sought me out and used me for his good. God is so good.

My favorite praise and worship lyrics EVER!!!

For, down at your feet oh Lord is the most high place
In your presence Lord, I seek your face, I seek your face.
For there is no higher calling, no greater honor, than to bow and kneel before your throne.
I'm amazed at your glory, embraced by your mercy OH LORD, I LIVE TO WORSHIP YOU.

That's my all time fave. It reminds me of what I am made for...and when life gets hard it's such an honor to know that the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords welcomes ME at his throne. And not only welcomes me...he basks in it. Here is where I am safe, here is where my world and my thoughts disappear and become his own. I guess that I also have one more to share.

Jesus, Lover of my soul.
Jesus, I will never let you go.
You've taken me from the miry clay
Set my feet upon that rock and now I know.
I love you.
I need you.
THOUGH MY WORLD MAY FALL I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO!!
My savior, my closest friend.
I will worship you UNTIL THE VERY END.

That one is a little more personal. I know that when my world is shattered and my hope is gone that I can look to God and he will renew me. I will never run out of hope, I will never be left alone when I am standing in the light of the one and only Almighty God. Where I crumble he will build me tall. Where I lack, he will provide. When I am lonely, he is with me. When I am hurting, he is my comforter. He is all that I need and I will praise him for that until the day that I die......and long afterwards. (((HALLELUJIAH!!!)))

My favorite bible verses (for right now.).

My favorite bible verses change with the seasons of my life. I like to have ones that apply to me so that I can study them more in depth and figure out what they mean to me. My ALL time favorite CHAPTER is Proverbs 31.
But my new verses for now Are Matthew 14:25-31
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them , walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him they were terrified. "It's a ghost," They said and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "TAKE COURAGE! IT IS I. DON'T BE AFRAID."
"Lord, if it is you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"COME." He said
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind , he was afraid and beginning to sink, cride out, "Lord, Save me!!"
Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "YOU OF LITTLE FAITH." he said. "WHY DID YOU DOUBT ME?"

These verses are important to me for several reasons.
1) They show that the power of God can do anything, even what is believed to be impossible."
2)They show that when we doubt God is when we start thinking in our faith.
3)That if you test God you may get something unexpected, that you weren't looking for.

But really, can you imagine WALKING on water. I don't blame Peter for being afraid, it is human nature, and when he was afraid he stopped focusing on Jesus and taking his focus away from him started to make him sink. Jesus, who is kind and just saved him and then chided him. "HELLO!! I AM RIGHT HERE...DID YOU THINK I WOULD LET YOU DROWN? IS THAT THE KIND OF KING I AM?? DO YOU NOT SEE THAT YOU ARE WALKING ON WATER?

Makes me think of faith in general. Peter had the courage to go out on the water. I don't know that I would have. Uh...You want me to WHAT?! But there are so many things that God asks us to do as Christians that we look away from our shun from our lives and all the while he is sitting there thinking and pleading with us to just take that leap of faith. JUMP in the water, Stand with me, I will guide you, you will not fall if you focus on me.

And that for the time being is my favorite bible verse. We all need to be reminded sometimes to take that leap of faith.